Author Topic: Storys from a virtual pub in shetland.  (Read 3592 times)

George

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Re: Stories.. Coos & banter.
« on: January 12, 2011, 10:03:40 am »
Hello benji... Your getting as bad as M ... drinking in a sunday morning..tut.tut....I like da thread you opened about being scared as a kid..... and your feart o COOS as well.. I just thought it wis just me ........ I mind years ago. I went with a good mate o mine. another fireman like me [ he died a long time ago ] .. anyway he was also scared o cows.. and I will always remember this day. When we were oot fishing for Salmon on the River Luger.. Jack and me had to get past a big herd o the beasts, scattered aboot the field..so we decided the only way was to creep through the bushes and hope they wouldnt see us.. Jack was in front o me.. and as we thought we were oot o the danger area.. Jack ran and jumped off a high bank at the riverside.. and screamed.. as he almost landed astride one o the big beasts.... the coo got such a fright it jumped into the river.....................talk about funny..we laughed all the way home in the car...  anyway I won the lottery last night so your drink is on me... thinks benji.. thats a first for george,,,,,,,,,,,,thinks george. thats the last for benji..he.he.he.

Banter..

Hello Alky you look rather fetching in your yellow wellies tonight... pity you didna change your fishnet tights. cause you have a wee ladder in them.. sorry Alky. I just cant help myself. but being an honest type o guy. I thought it would be better for me yer auld pal, to tell you, rather than some o they misfits dat come in here.. you know who I mean. nudge. nudge wink wink.. anyway could I have a pint o your best watter please.... by the way I just wish you would go back ta dat plastic-surgeon and get yer nose fixed. where its ment to be. instead o in da middle o your foreheed it just dont suit you up there. een your sister she will get a sair back efter getting these breast implants...I think he overdid it with them........... dat rooskee that wis in, I got him drunk last night...een I got a bit o interesting information oot o him..........He wis sent ower here frae Moscow he is a KGB hired by some burd , think he said her name wis TAMARA....his name wis Vlad..or wis it Igor.. he wis sent ta find oot if.. H.. hung aboot da magnies rest... een da plan wis to kiddnap him an spirit him ower tae Moscow......... cause TAMARA canna get.. H.. oot o her mind.. plus da fact he owes her a lot o money for certain favours she did for him............its amazing whit information you can get efter you ply these Rooskees way a bit o vodka, init Alky....can I get another pint please......

Orange wellies..

Hello Alkapop.. how ur you today, your looking really nice today, with your matching wellie boots on, I must say. I like the colour of them. bright orange. at least it matches your face...... I thought your sister would be in today, where is she.... whit do you mean she had a nervous breakdown.. wonder what caused that.. has some idiot been saying something to upset her... whit do mean. me. i'm her best pal. I gie hur the best o advice that money can buy........the cheek o some folk....... anyway Alkapop I think dat plastic-sureon did a great job on you wae the breast implants. you look a bit like Dolly Parton, but. I better warn you not to go oot in a windy day. some o they gusts o wind, might catch them and lift you up an hurl you ower da banks into da sea........ tell Alky I wis asking for her.... on second thoughts, maybe you better not.. If you mention my name she might do something silly........

george..