Author Topic: Storys from a virtual pub in shetland.  (Read 3584 times)

George

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Re: Stories. A wee misunderstanding.
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2011, 08:32:57 am »
Just popped in ta hae a wee word wae that big ruskee ..... Hello Vlad op's sorry it's Igor is it .. my my my.. MG was right you are a really big flatfooted ugly big git, and he was right aboot your skin peeling as well.. and as for your dress sense, well your wellie-boots dont really go wa that mini-skirt ..........

whit are you doing put me doon ya big ape, your choking me, MG, I thought you said he did'na understand english ....

Later..

Hello Igor.. I just want to apologise to your good self... I thought it was a bit o fun, then I forgot dat you ruskees aint got any kind o sense o humour.. So I thought it my duty to offer you a wee drink, have a wee glass o creme de meths and I will ha a wee gless o watter... [ that meth's should make it a bit interesting ] aye igor here's to your ald mate stalin....

Lynne.

Hello George. Sounds like you had a terrible journey. Hmm - your experience of eating at that place sounds similar to mine. Dirty knives and forks was my experience and I've never been back since.

Anyway, now you're back, I think you should get this pub back in line. The things that have been going on since you've been away!!!!  It's been terrible. The Alkies are out of control, Mgs not been far behind. Then we've had these very strange folk in here too.

My sister has joined too - Bod. She poked her head round the door and I'm sure she'll be in again soon. She tries to talk with a Yorkshire accent sometimes, but she is not from Yorkshire at all!!! Watch her though, cos she'll probably be after your money. Apart from that she's a bit like me!!!!

Bod.

Ere George worra pleshure t ear from yer at last, av erd a lorrabowt yer, am gerrin t nur me way round this pless.

Sorry yer trip wer fulla snorrin, my usband snores and I get WELL annoyed so I pinch is nose and is lips, e goes a right funny colour.

Get yersen a drink, av put sum money beyind bar, you gerrup cos av bin at wuck all day so am WELL tired.

Me. Wa a sair heed.

O ma heed, it's fair throbbin wa aw da drum dat MG wis bashin.... a did notice last night dat Bod got aff wa dat Igor, think they were in da peat shed, just wait till her sister Benji finds oot, but she'll no find oot frae me, ma lips are sealed.........

It wis a good idea tae invite da local constabulary, as efter a bit o pestering fra mally they eventualy gave in and gave him a lift home......... I think dat I maybe hud a wee bit to much o da drink, cause I think I wis chatting up alky een her twin alkopop.... god I feel really rough.....

george.