Author Topic: Storys from a virtual pub in shetland.  (Read 1430 times)


  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 649
  • Location: Mossbank Shetland
    • View Profile
Re: Stories. coming home..
« Reply #15 on: January 28, 2011, 07:29:42 am »
Hi.benji... it was a bit o an ordeal the m8 from glasgow airport to da kingston bridge in the city centre, It was at a standstill, it took ages to clear out o glasgow.. then Dundee was nearly as bad, I left my daughters bit at 1230 and arrived at aberdeen the back o 5pm.... I did stop for a meal in da little chef in Dundee.
I was a bit rude to the manager, 8.99 for a mixed grill, which i dont mind paying [ if it's nice ] but this one was terrible, then a black hair in my glass o orange..... I have silver hair...sorry if i'm putting you off anything ...  anyway can I get you a wee drink benji..i'm feeling a bit dry myself...then i'm going to have a laugh later on wae dat big ruskee....

Whit a night on da ferry..

Hello all, i'm back ....... whit a night I had. I had to share a cabin wae another guy een he snored aw night.. I gave in at 4 in da morning and wandered aboot da boat, da security man wis following me aw ower da place, I wis begining to think he fancied me, so I went ta hide in da lifeboat, only to discover it was full o ruskees, they said dat they were emigrating ta Shetland as a mate o theirs telt dem it wis great [ even had a free pub up in northmavine ] their mate wis called igor [ does dat ring a bell wa you  Alky........................

It wiz jist an misunderstanding..

Just popped in ta hae a wee word wa dat ruskee ..... Hello Vlad ops, sorry its Igor is it .. my my my.. MG was right, you are a really big flatfooted ugly big git, and he was right aboot your skin peeling as well..  een as for your dress sense, well your wellie-boots don't really go wa dat mini-skirt .........

Whit are you doing, put me doon ya big ape, your choking me, MG.. I thought you said he did'na understand english..

The apologise..

Hello Igor.. just want to apologise to your good self... I thought it was a bit o fun..

 Then I forgot dat you ruskees aint got any kind o sense o humour.. so I thought it my duty to offer you a wee drink.. have a wee glass o creme de meths, een I will hae a wee glass o watter... [ that meths should make it a bit interesting ] aye Igor, heres to your auld mate stalin....

Hello George. Sounds like you had a terrible journey.... Hmm - your experience of eating at that place sounds similar to mine. Dirty knives and forks was my experience and I've never been back since.

Anyway, now your back, I think you should get this pub back in line. The things that have been going on since you've been away!!!!  It's been terrible. The Alkies are out of control, mg's not been far behind. Then we've had these very strange folk in here too.

My sister has joined too - bod. She poked her head round the door and I'm sure she'll be in again soon. She tries to talk with a Yorkshire accent sometimes but she's not from Yorkshire at all!!! Watch her though, cos she'll probably be after your money.  Apart from that she's a bit like me!!!!


Ere George, worra pleshure t ear from yer at last, av erd a lorrabowt yer, am gerrin t nur me way round this pless.

Sorry yer trip wer fulla snorrin, my usband snores and I get WELL annoyed so I pinch is nose and is lips, e goes a right funny colour.

Get yersen a drink, av put sum money beyind bar, you gerrup cos av bin at wuck all day so am WELL tired.
Hello Bod.. If I pinched his nose he would probably have decked me, as he was a stranger.. he.he. ...  Anyway I was telt by Benji tae watch oot for you as you might be efter my money.. lots o dem forumites think i'm a miserable auld git... but your got to be a bit mean tae save up oot aw your pension .. I'm off da noo tae count ma money noo.. I do it every night... den in da morning as well.. it makes my day... he.he.

More ta come another time..